Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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