if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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