I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
