have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
