I've blown a few things in my day
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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