the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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