can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
