Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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