I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
