Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
