yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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