i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
