There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
