if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
