tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
