my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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