Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it was like eating out sand paper
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
