Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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