I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
