Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
