Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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