I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
