Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
