i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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