You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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