What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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