i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
