The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
