He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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