did you get engaged???
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I enjoy the company of your penis
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
