whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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