I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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