Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
