Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
