i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
