Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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