im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
