My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
