You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
