I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
