Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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