my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am spending my child support on dildos
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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