That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
