After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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