Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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