I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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