hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize