I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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