idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
