Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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